A Million Deaths

I’ve died a million times in my mind’s eye
In a detailed plan that repeats like a lullaby
Every road I take leads to the same bleak end
Yet no one else notices as I pretend

I take my last breath, alone and unguided
In a silence so deafening it leaves me divided
It’s almost peaceful, like a calm before the storm
But the truth is, it’s a restless, lonely form

I’ve replayed this scene a million times or more
Each detail perfected, each gesture a chore
It’s the best of the worst, or so it seems
But nothing is guaranteed, nothing is as it seems

So I draw my last breath, in this self-made purgatory
Wishing for someone to hold me, to make it a reality
But it’s just a fantasy, a dream that I can’t touch
Leaving me trapped, in this mind’s cage, feeling so much.

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